Trunk Monkey

Not long after I came across the hilarious VW "Unpimp Your Ride" commercials, another friend pointed me to this set of ads for a Portland (Oregon)-area Subaru dealership:

Road Rage      Pesky Kids      Traffic Stop

Theft Retrieval System      Pediatric Edition

Chaperone (Director's Cut)      Simian OnStar System (radio ad)

Unfortunately, I don't have much use for such optional features at the moment, because I don't have a car here. (Also, given the Swedish obsession with equality, there are probably multiple laws on the books that say you can't keep a monkey in the trunk of your car unless you offer it the option of riding shotgun with you any time it wants. Plus an unlimited supply of bananas. And five weeks of paid vacation. So I'm not sure the system would work here in any case.)

Anyway, I think the funniest ones are the Traffic Stop and the Theft Retrieval System. But then, I'm totally insane, and my instincts are not to be trusted. So what say we make this a poll? Vote for your favorite(s) in the comments. One lucky winner may receive a fabulous prize.* Loser has the monkey to answer to. Vote early, vote often!




^* Which may, at the management's whimsole discretion, be, uh, a banana or something. Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included. Some assembly required. Do not taunt. Taxes, if any, are the sole responsibility of the winner. (And this is Sweden, so there sure as hell will be. What, are you new here or something?)