Apologies
I was recently involved in two apologies—one given, another (not) received—and it has gotten me thinking about the nature of saying "I'm sorry" in general.
As one of my refereeing mentors puts it, "Justice delayed is justice denied." In soccer, at least, the idea is that if you don't deal with a problem head-on in a timely fashion, the players will likely take matters into their own hands.
For better or worse, life outside the pitch works a little differently: a person to whom you owe an apology may not do anything drastic or overt if you fail to give it. He or she may not even say anything at all. Some forgive and forget; others fume, silently. As for people who might have wronged you, it takes a rare strength of character to fess up and ask for forgiveness, particularly if the offense occurred long ago (and the more time passes, the more difficult it becomes to muster up the necessary courage to make amends). It also requires enough social intelligence and introspection to figure out that you've done something wrong, because people won't always tell you.
Lately, it seems to me that very few people possess either trait in sufficient measure, let alone both. So one of my resolutions for this year will be to at least hold up my end of the bargain: beyond a certain point, I can't do much about the (in)actions of others, but I can at least try to make sure that I treat others the way I wish they would treat me.* Corny as it sounds, one could do worse than to live by the Golden Rule.
* No, not "He who has the gold makes the rules." That's the other golden rule.
As one of my refereeing mentors puts it, "Justice delayed is justice denied." In soccer, at least, the idea is that if you don't deal with a problem head-on in a timely fashion, the players will likely take matters into their own hands.
For better or worse, life outside the pitch works a little differently: a person to whom you owe an apology may not do anything drastic or overt if you fail to give it. He or she may not even say anything at all. Some forgive and forget; others fume, silently. As for people who might have wronged you, it takes a rare strength of character to fess up and ask for forgiveness, particularly if the offense occurred long ago (and the more time passes, the more difficult it becomes to muster up the necessary courage to make amends). It also requires enough social intelligence and introspection to figure out that you've done something wrong, because people won't always tell you.
Lately, it seems to me that very few people possess either trait in sufficient measure, let alone both. So one of my resolutions for this year will be to at least hold up my end of the bargain: beyond a certain point, I can't do much about the (in)actions of others, but I can at least try to make sure that I treat others the way I wish they would treat me.* Corny as it sounds, one could do worse than to live by the Golden Rule.
* No, not "He who has the gold makes the rules." That's the other golden rule.
posted by Biff at 23:09
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home