I Bet It Tastes Like Chicken

I got annoyed with my phone constantly running out of memory, so I decided to delete all the porn clean it out this morning. I'd already downloaded most of the pictures onto my computer (some of them have even made it onto this blog), but I came across this nugget I'd found while walking through Fortnum & Mason on a recent weekend trip to London:

Figure 1. Keep this shit away from me.

WTF?! I can't imagine the conversation back in the ol' Haggis R&D department that would have led to this product.

Aidan: You know what, Steve? I suddenly have the urge to chow down on a hearty blend of sheep heart, liver, and lungs.

Steve: Uh... you're vegetarian.

Aidan: Oh. Yeah.

Steve: Wait—I've got a great idea! What say we make some vegetarian haggis?

Aidan: Aye!

I'll take "Flagrantly Unnecessary Foods" for $1000, please.

Seriously, that is just about the only plausible explanation I can think of for the existence of something like this. And so we have another member in the honorary Ridiculous Foods And Beverages club. Right there next to decaf coffee and low-alcohol gin.